The Lulu Raes’ have just released their brand new single Never Leave and it’s a beauty. But what are they talking about? Never leaving the bathtub? Never leaving this sweet-as all you can eat buffet? Perhaps, and that’s a perhaps…they are talking about SYDNEY!
We don’t care about Rick Steve and his shitty guides to Rome, we wanna know where the best pool tables are and where to go when the drugs kick in. Over to you Lulu Raes!
The Lulu Raes Guide to…Sydney
Where to Eat: Funky Pies in Bondi Beach. Vegan Butter Chicken Pie yum.
Where to stay/AirBNB it: Take the tour of inner Sydney first. A trip down to the industrial part, you can have a look at the building where the Beaconsfield miners worked, then down to the food truck that sells “fresh” kebabs, but come on, it’s a kebab, plus the truck tyres have no air in them, you know it’s more monster than truck nowadays.
Where to Party: The Spanish Hub down by the old cider mill. I went there once and got taught how to say this to make friends: “la labios está bajo el paraguas de chupando ocho.”
Where to Drink: Marcus love’s The Rose in Chippendale. Pool tables? Yep. Beer? Of course. Smoke outside? You bet your sweet ass.
Where to eat at 2am: The other night I was out with this chick I call my girlfriend, and I was bloiiinnd, and I kept telling her I want to go to “Shteki’s” to get their special chip roll. She kept saying no, the uber is here, and I sort of ran away but then forgot where I was going and what I was doing, and she found me a few minutes later wandering up the road, sort of confused and supposedly I was recycling bottles. She made me an egg roll when we got home. I don’t think “Shteki’s” even exists.
Where to escape the tourists: Why would you want to escape them? Most people I know that want to escape tourists go travelling, then they become what they’re escaping.
Where to find your new favourite band: Newtown
Where to spend your hungover days: If any of you find Shteki’s let me know please.
What to complain about with other locals: Anything that comes to mind, then immediately retreat back into the shell you’ve created because you’re wondering if you’re coming across naturally.
Where to find true love: Noone touches my ex’s.
Where to avoid: My ex’s.
What Sydney bands to listen to whilst here: All our ex’s live in Texas.